Chapter Five 
HOW IT WORKS
    Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our
directions. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not
completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women
who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There
are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born
that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of
life which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental
disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be
honest. 

    Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what
happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we
have and are willing to go to any length to get it -then you are ready to
follow directions. 

    At some of these you may balk. You may think you can find an easier,
softer way. We doubt if you can. With all the earnestness at our command,
we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us
have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let
go absolutely. 

    Remember that you are dealing with alcohol - cunning, baffling,
powerful! Without help it is too much for you. But there is One who has
all power - That One is God. You must find Him now! 

    Half measures will avail you nothing. You stand at the turning point.
Throw yourself under His protection and care with complete abandon. 

    Now we think you can take it! Here are the steps we took, which are
suggested as your Program of Recovery: 

Admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become
unmanageable. 
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity. 
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care and
direction of God as we understood Him. 
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature
of our wrongs. 
Were entirely willing that God remove all these defects of character. 
Humbly, on our knees, asked Him to remove our shortcomings - holding
nothing back. 
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make
complete amends to them all. 
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others. 
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it. 
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our contact with God,
praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that
out. 
Having had a spiritual experience as the result of this course of action,
we tried to carry this message to others, especially alcoholics, and to
practice these principles in all our affairs. 
    You may exclaim, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not
be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like
perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is,
that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have
set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than
spiritual perfection. 

    Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our
personal adventures before and after, have been designed to sell you three
pertinent ideas: 

    

(a) That you are alcoholic and cannot manage your own life. 

(b) That probably no human power can relieve your alcoholism. 

(c) That God can and will.
    If you are not convinced on these vital issues, you ought to re-read
the book to this point or else throw it away! 

    If you are convinced, you are now at step three, which is that you
make a decision to turn your will and your life over to God as you
understand Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do? 

    The first requirement is that you see that any life run on self-will
can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collission~
with something or somebody, even though our motives may be good. Most
people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who
wants to run the whole show: is forever trying to arrange the lights, the
ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his
arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wishes,
the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.
Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor
may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient,
generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be
mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is
more likely to have varied traits. 

    What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins
to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself some
more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious,
as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be
somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He
becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he
not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim
of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this
world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the
players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make
each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the
show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather
than harmony? 

    Our actor is self-centered - ego-centric, as people like to call it
nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida
sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the
preacher who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and
reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would
only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him;
and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever their
protestations, are not these people mostly concerned with themselves,
their resentments, or their self-pity? 

    Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our
troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking,
and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.
Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly, without provocation, but we invariably
find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self,
which later placed us in a position to be hurt. 

    So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise
out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is almost the most extreme example
that could be found of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think
so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We
must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there is no way of
entirely getting rid of self without Him. You may have moral and
philosophical convictions galore, but you can't live up to them even
though you would like to. Neither can you reduce your self-centeredness
much by wishing or trying on your own power. You must have God's help. 

    This is the how and why of it. First of all, quit playing God
yourself. It doesn't work. Next, decide that hereafter in this drama of
life, God is going to by your Director. He is the Principal; you are to be
His agent. He is the Father, and you are His child. Get that simple
relationship straight. Most good ideas are simple and this concept is to
be the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which you will pass
to freedom. 

    When you sincerely take such a position, all sorts of remarkable
things follow. You have a new Employer. Being all powerful, He must
necessarily provide what you need, if you keep close to Him and perform
His work well. Established on such a footing you become less and less
interested in yourself, your little plans and designs. More and more you
become interested in seeing what you can contribute to life. As you feel
new power flow in, as you enjoy peace of mind, as you discover you can
face life successfully, as you become conscious of His presence, you begin
to lose your fear of today, tomorrow, or the hereafter. You will have been
reborn. 

    Get down upon your knees and say to your Maker, as you understand Him:
"God, I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and to do with me as Thou
wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to
those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do
Thy will always!" Think well before taking this step. Be sure you are
ready; that you can at last abandon yourself utterly to Him. 

    It is very desirable that you make your decision with an understanding
person. It may be your wife, your best friend, your spiritual adviser, but
remember it is better to meet God alone that~ with one who might
misunderstand. You must decide this for yourself. The wording of your
decision is, of course, quite optional so long as you express the idea,
voicing it without reservation. This decision is only a beginning, though
if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, will
be felt at once. 

    Next we launch out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of
which is a personal housecleaning, which you have never in all probability
attempted. Though your decision is a vital and crucial step, it can have
little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to
face, and to be rid of, the things in yourself which have been blocking
you. Your liquor is but a symptom. Let's now get down to basic causes and
conditions. 

    Therefore, you start upon a personal inventory. This is step four. A
business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a
commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an
effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. Its object is to
disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and
without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he
cannot fool himself about values. 

    We do exactly the same thing with our lives. We take stock honestly.
First, we search out the flaws in our make-up which have caused our
failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, is what
has defeated us, we consider its common manifestations. 

    Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics
than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we
have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually
sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally
and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. List
people, institutions or principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself
why you are angry. In most cases it will be found that your self-esteem,
your pocketbook, your ambitions, your personal relationships, (including
sex) are hurt or threatened. So you are sore. You are "burned up." 

    On your grudge list set opposite each name your injuries. Is it your
self-esteem, your security, your ambitions, your personal, or your sex
relations, which have been interfered with? 

   Be as definite as this example:

I'm resentful at:           The Cause                          Affects my:

   Mr. Brown          His attention to my wife.              Sex relations.
                                                             Self-esteem
(fear)
                      Told my wife of my mistress.           Sex relations.
                                                             Self-esteem
(fear)
                      Brown may get my job at the office.    Security.
                                                             Self-esteem
(fear)
   Mrs. Jones         She's a nut-she snubbed me.

                      She committed her husband for          Personal
relation-
                      drinking.He's my friend.She's
ship.Self-esteem                         
                      a gossip.                              (fear)
   My employer        Unreasonable - Unjust - Over-
                      bearing - Threatens to fire me for     Self-esteem
(fear)
                      drinking and padding my expense        Security 
                      account.
   My wife            Misunderstands and nags.Likes          Pride -
Personal                          
                      Brown. Wants house put in her name.    and sex
relations-
                                                             Security
(fear)


    Go on through the list back through your lifetime. Nothing counts but
thoroughness and honesty. When you are finished consider it carefully. The
first thing apparent to you is that this world and its people are often
quite wrong. To conclude that others are wrong is as far as most of us
ever get. The usual outcome is that people continue to wrong you and you
stay sore. Sometimes it is remorse and then you are sore at yourself. But
the more you fight and try to have your way, the worse matters get. Isn't
that so? As in war, victors only seem to win. Your moments of triumph are
short-lived. 

    It is plain that a way of life which includes deep resentment leads
only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit
these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with
the alcoholic whose only hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual
experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We find that
it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from
the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink
again. And with us, to drink is to die. 

    If we are to live, we must be free of anger. The grouch and the
brainstorm are not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men,
but for alcoholics these things are poison. 

    Turn back to your list, for it holds the key to your future. You must
be prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. You will begin
to see that the world and its people really dominate you. In your present
state, the wrongdoing of others, fancied or real, has power to actually
kill you. How shall you escape? You see that these resentments must be
mastered, but how? You cannot wish them away any more than alcohol. 

    This is our course: realize at once that the people who wrong you are
spiritually sick. Though you don't like their symptoms and the way these
disturb you, they, like yourself, are sick, too. Ask God to help you show
them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that you would cheerfully
grant a friend who has cancer. When a person next offends, say to yourself
"This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being
angry. Thy will be done." 

    Never argue. Never retaliate. You wouldn't treat sick people that way.
If you do, you destroy your chance of being helpful. You cannot be helpful
to all people, but at least God will show you how to take a kindly and
tolerant view of each and every one. 

    Take up your list again. Putting out of your mind the wrongs others
have done, resolutely look for your own mistakes. Where have you been
selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation may
not be entirely your fault, disregard the other person involved entirely.
See where you have been to blame. This is your inventory, not the other
man's. When you see your fault write it down on the list. See it before
you in black and white. Admit your wrongs honestly and be willing to set
these matters straight. 

    You will notice that the word fear is bracketed alongside the
difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, your employer, and your wife.
This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an
evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence is shot through
with it. It sets in motion trains of circumstances which bring us
misfortune we feel we don't deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the
ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing as
a sin. It seems to cause more trouble. 

    Review your fears thoroughly. Put them on paper, even though you have
no resentment in connection with them. Ask yourself why you have them.
Isn't it because self-reliance has failed you? Self-reliance was good as
far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great
self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other.
When it made us cocky, it was worse. 

    Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For you are now to go on
a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. You are to
trust infinite God rather than your finite self. You are in the world to
play the role he assigns. Just to the extent that you do as you think He
would have you, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable you to match
calamity with serenity. 

    You must never apologize to anyone for depending upon your Creator.
You can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness.
Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that
faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God.
Never apologize for God. Instead let Him demonstrate, through you, what He
can do. Ask Him to remove your fear and direct your attention to what He
would have you be. At once, you will commence to outgrow fear. 

    Now about sex. You can probably stand an overhauling there. We needed
it. But above all, let's be sensible on this question. It's so easy to get
way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes -
absurd extremes, perhaps. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our
lower nature, a base necessity of procreation. Then we have the voices who
cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who
think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes.
They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isn't the right kind.
They see its significance everywhere. One school would allow man no flavor
for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet. We
want to stay out of this controversy. We do not want to be the arbiter of
anyone's sex conduct. We all have sex problems. We'd hardly be human if we
didn't. What can we do about them? 

    Review your own conduct over the years past. Where have you been
selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom did you hurt? Did you
unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where you were at
fault, what should you have done instead? Get this all down on paper and
look at it. 

    In this way you can shape a sane and sound ideal for your future sex
life. Subject each relation to this test - is it selfish or not? Ask God
to mould your ideals and help you to live up to them. Remember always that
your sex powers are God-given, and therefore good, neither to be used
lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed. 

    Whatever your ideal may be, you must be willing to grow toward it. You
must be willing to make amends where you have done harm, provided that you
will not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, treat
sex as you would any other problem. In meditation, ask God what you should
do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if you want it. 

    God alone can judge your sex situation. Counsel with persons is often
desirable, but let God be the final judge. Remember that some people are
as fanatical about sex as others are loose. Avoid hysterical thinking or
advice. 

    Suppose you fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble. Does this mean
you are going to get drunk? Some people will tell you so. If they do, it
will be only a half-truth. It depends on you and your motive. If you are
sorry for what you have done, and have the honest desire to let God take
you to better things, you will be forgiven and will have learned your
lesson. If you are not sorry, and your conduct continues to harm others,
you are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of
our experience. 

    To sum up about sex: earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance
in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the
right thing. If sex is very troublesome, throw yourself the harder into
helping others. Think of their needs and work for them. This will take you
out of yourself. It will quiet the imperious urge, when to yield would
mean heartache. 

    If you have been thorough about your personal inventory, you have
written down a lot by this time. You have listed and analyzed your
resentments. You have begun to comprehend their futility and their
fatality. You have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. You
have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even
your enemies, for you know them to be sick people. You have listed the
people you have hurt by your conduct, and you are willing to straighten
out the past if you can. 

    In this book you read again and again that God did for us what we
could not do for ourselves. We hope you are convinced now that He can
remove the self-will that has blocked you off from Him. You have made your
decision. You have made an inventory of the grosser handicaps you have.
You have made a good beginning, for you have swallowed and digested some
big chunks of truth about yourself. Are you willing to go on?